A cop in Enid, Oklahoma pulled a guy over for speeding last week. But when he walked up to the guy's car, he realized the guy was mostly naked... wearing a THONG and covered in VASELINE.
His name is John Wayne Kellerman, and he's 54. According to the police report, his hands, arms, and legs were all lubed up... there was a porno mag on the passenger's seat... and a nearly empty jar of Vaseline was sitting out.
When the cop asked what he was up to, he admitted he'd been pleasuring himself while driving. Why even TRY to lie, right?
His ID was also covered in Vaseline! So when he handed it to the cop, he offered him a rag to wipe it off with... but the cop didn't know what ELSE he'd been using that rag for, so he declined.
It turned out John's license got revoked way back in 1985! And he's spent 27 years in jail since then for various crimes.
He's facing charges for speeding and driving without a license.
Here's his mugshot (After he got cleaned up):
From The Smoking Gun - Thong-Clad Driver Was Covered In Vaseline